We’ve All Got to Deal With It

Can we all agree, TGIF! Its been a week of ups and downs, and I am ready for a weekend to recharge. Who’s with me? I always consider the weekend my contingency plan when I get behind on my resolution/challenge/goals, so it probably won’t be an entirely carefree weekend. I’ll be honest, I am still straining a bit with my 2018 ambitions, but this week was far better then last. How are you doing on your Commitment to Self?

Based on what I’ve heard from others, the odds are good you are struggling too. If so, I say with certainty you are not alone. I’ve heard things like ‘I was afraid to journal for Don'tlikemyreflectionfear of what I might unleash about myself’. Also ‘what if I read all that and don’t get it?’. Then there was ‘I could make time and still not feel inspired’. Of course, there are the oldies but goodies ‘what if I lose the weight… do the job…build the relationship and I’m still not happy?’ I’ve used every one of those as justification to give up on something I was trying to accomplish. Not this year.

But it did get me thinking, we aren’t struggling with our resolutions. We are all struggling with Fear. The bad news – that is the most fundamental of human emotions. The good news – we all must deal with it, so we are in it together. Nobody escapes Fear. Particularly not the Fear that comes when we are working on our Self. What do we do? I don’t have a perfect solution, but I can tell you how I’m trying to adjust.

First, I looked at my expectations. I remain committed to reading High Performance Habits, but I realized that I probably didn’t have time to get it done in January and the subject (being successful) might be putting the cart before the horse. Time to adapt.

**Note: not time to give up, time to course correct to make the goal more realistic.

Instead I’m chugging away on Brené Brown’s The Gifts Of Imperfection, and I will get this done by the end of the month. (BTW my two second review: Brilliant! If you haven’t already, its worth a look.)

Second, I looked for ways to reinforce accomplishing my goal. Setting aside dedicated time to exercise, journal or whatever is a great start. I also set a Reminder in Maple, to make sure that it doesn’t “accidently slip my mind” to get going on my goals. Is there some way to simplify or organize that will make it easier to work towards your task? Where it makes sense – let the technology do the work for you. Don’t forget to reward your self when you make progress!

Next, I checked my support systems. Last week I talked about casting a wide net to find resources. This week I’m going to say that within that group you undoubtedly have your Go To people, now is the time to Go To them. Think about it, we are talking about fear. You are dealing with a fight or flight response. Not working on your Commitment to Self is essentially flight and you want to choose fight. Who wouldn’t prefer to fight with their most trusted allies by their side? Maplers, these are the folks you want as your Thought Partners. Share your goal, explain your struggle, ask for support. Even if it is as simple as acknowledging your effort. It helps. Especially considering my next suggestion.

Finally, muster up your Courage. As Brené points out, there is a difference between heroism and courage. You probably won’t run into a burning building (heroism), but you do have to challenge yourself to move beyond your comfort zone and face a fear (courage). I use mini goals to build that bravery muscle. The more you try, the more your skill builds. You don’t even need to succeed at every little step, simply attempting it is enough to chip away at the fear.

We create these January intentions to move ourselves forward only to discover one of the scariest parts is dealing with who we are. Ahhhh! For all of us working to Meet, Commit, or Grow our Self its time to face our fears. Take five meaningful breaths and remind yourself – you’re not so scary. Onward!!

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Christine is a consultant, coach and collaborator. Her vision is a tool to nudge people towards the insights that are just out of reach; connecting their deeper thoughts and truest selves to make big leaps forward.

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