What Did I Get Myself Into?

Let me ask you, have you ever committed to doing something because it either made sense or sounded good in the moment and then, when you had to actually do it, you find it’s waaaaay more difficult then you expected? You have? Awesome. Cause that is what I just did with this month of Maple Stories!

Ok, yes, that is ironic after I just spent a month blogging about deeper thinking.

Here’s the thing, I did think about why it makes sense to share our Maple Stories. I want you to get to know us and we also want to get to know you. Especially when our stories overlap. There is something powerful and beneficial when people connect over the things they have in common or help each other by sharing their experiences. I am all about that. No regrets there. At all.

As a matter of fact, I was pretty excited to get going on this monthly series. I went out and got others all fired up about it too, getting them to commit to posting with me. I enticed them with “It will be fun!”

Until I sat down to write my first story and it was not so easy. After three false starts I was wondering what possessed me to make a commitment like this. I’ve had writer’s block before and if I simply start writing eventually a thread grabs hold and I make progress. Only that was not happening here. Nothing was grabbing and what I had was (honestly) crap.

Even worse, because it wasn’t happening, and taking much longer than expected, other things were also not getting done. Grinding away in vain to get a story pulled together I was falling behind on administrative stuff, important presentations, time for personal growth. I was risking those things and still had no story. Plus, the deadline was looming. No, this was definitely NOT Fun.

Then it hit me. In order to tell my stories I have to let you into my world. Which means  chipping away at the protective barrier I have (Scott calls it my Wall). I recognize the need for adjustments to my Wall. Taking it down a notch or two in order to share my Maple Stories isn’t a big deal – logically. But realizing my issue wasn’t writer’s block so much as being frozen with fear, it was an Oh Crap! What Did I Do? moment. I had a huge wave of regret and promised to keep my big ideas in check in the future.

But…

After a few minutes to soak in the fear – and believe me I soaked it in – I’m realizing it’s Not THAT Bad.

Being a bit more open and (gulp) vulnerable is absolutely part of my Life’s Journey, I just hadn’t planned on working on it now. The plan was for later. Much later. Only that isn’t the way life handles things, is it? We don’t always get to do things when it’s convenient or when we plan to. Sometimes it’s when the Universe says, “You’re going to address this today. I’ve arranged to make that a reality. Enjoy.”

Like a little kid, I like getting my way. When I don’t get my way, I don’t like that. As an adult it’s necessary to accept that ‘my way’ isn’t always going to happen. In those instances, I try to take a longer view and five meaningful breaths. I give myself a solid ten minutes to pout. (Occasionally it becomes several hours and is accompanied by wine.) After that, it’s time for some pointed self-talk and considering the bigger picture/greater good. Most of the time the self-talk works, other times it’s the wine. Either way, I remind myself that the only real direction on Life’s Path is ahead of me, so embrace it however it comes.

In some cases, the Who, What, Where, When and How are super important.  Other times they are the barrier keeping me from making progress. Turns out working with what I have can be more effective then forcing things to the be the way I want. I’m learning how to loosen my grip and relinquish control to makes things happen. Have you tried this too?

It’s no surprise to anyone, least of all myself, that I’m a work in progress. It’s kind of a relief to let everyone know that I get scared, have regrets and try to run away from stuff or that I’m going to have childish reactions and, while it may take a hot minute, I’m striving to do the right thing. All any of us can do is take a breath and keep trying. That’s how we’re going to move forward.

Take a second and think back, have you ever regretted something that later turned out to be a huge help? Tell me about it or Tweet us @MeetMaple, I can’t wait to hear. Onward!

#MapleStories #NoRegrets #MeetMaple

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